where are you when i need?
where were you when im down
where were you when i need warm

im not blaming you but this period is real hard for me
i know its hard for you too i totally understand alright :)
but you cant blame me for being down right?

i did not lie or hide things.. and i work hard for everything
including responsible for things im not suppose to do so..
saw tyra show yesterday i hope my family sees it
well even if they see.. i guess they just think that they are "ANG MO's"
and different from us..
its so fuck up please!

no matter how hard no matter what it takes..or what shits you got from your childrens
you got a full responsible to face it.
have you ever think that why is your son so hot temper?
or attitude problems at times? or talking back?

is all this INFLUENCE or Learn Bad?
WHY not think that why do i have this and why do i act like this?
then blaming on 2 words which is (INFLUENCE & BLAMING OTHER PEOPLE)
simply you dont like him.
and think he change me..

OH ISIT! why not look at ownself first?
Yell at me when im talking sense. and said i always "KAN BU SUN YAN NI MEN!"
GREAT! you all since you said..
im not one of the family i guess.. it came out from my own MOTHER~
how great it is.

am i suppose to take it? and understand again?
for all this years everyone who knows me sees it alright!
im not always right but what about you then..
saying sorry to me through SMS? FOR WHAT!

Because maybe im going enlisting soon?
or just dont want to strain the family relationship?
yes i know you do love me.
but perhaps im totally numb!

when i see the sms my heart was soft again but when i am home?
nagging softly to yourself FUCKS!

and when i kept quiet and dont talk? end up i can predict for sure say i never talk and dont want to talk! for sure!

no matter how PISS i am i make sure although im at my limits but i never said things out at all!
BUT this time at my blog i fuck care~

to you is a small thing when my brother small my dad bring him out and bought him ice cream.
me? i am not comparing but i of course not happy..
when i was born my dad never treat me all this he dotes on my brother more
although he still beats him

this is said out from my own parents mouth not me!and am i suppose to act as im ok?
i have to act like a SON plus HUSBAND DUTY
wad a joke!

all along u all said AMOS all along very guai and understanding now change..
HELLO? i am like this last time because i understand and care and now?
end up you all only blame people i know and my friends.

before start blaming why not do some self reflections?
people who knows me to my personal things.
knows its since a long time i complain in my blog!
i kept this on going for years and years and they heard about it
see me cry infront of them.
what about you all? 3 words " we love you "

Buy clothes buy this and that .. is you think what i want.
all i want is understanding and not flaring up! every single time and saying im small.. still small and small again FUCK YOU
if you guys realised im 20!

my brother EVERY SINGLE NIGHT is not at home till like 3-6am!
is like EVERY NIGHT! and me? once im out late
a SMS COME "Y SO LATE?"
can u stop me from comparing?
its fuck unfair and im not like going malaysia and stuff!
i go out to eat thats all!

you guys just want FACE!
i guess if you guys know this will only say why i say all this isit because there is people brain washing me and why i type this people can see it!
all you guys care is FACE!

i will still care but no as much im numb.
the scar is real deep! and im not the one to cut it my own! its you guys
for your information~!

how many nights my love one is not around and you guys as family like this so many years .. most of the night i tear ALONE! just to let you guys know
and when i wake up? i MOP THE FLOOR and start a new day..do u all know?

im just a JOKE.

i done a SIN AND GOD KNOWS
But im sure he knows what im thinking too!

everything god here and there~! why not look at yourself first?
and not blaming me , other people and saying i never go church and THATS WHY!